FLORIDA FRIDAY- Deputies searching for a floridaman who stole cat blood. Florida parents are getting high and being naked during their kids’ Zoom classes. Florida strip clubs fight to lower stripper age from 21 to 18. Floridaman shoots his doctor after having an orgasm during a prostate exam.
// Weird AF News is the only daily weird news podcast hosted by a comedian because I believe your daily dose of weird af stories deserves a comedic spin.
A Floridaman stole some cat blood for some reason.
Deputies are searching for a man who stole cat blood from a clinic. In Florida Saint Augustine a man was caught on surveillance video. He’s suspected of stealing cat blood from a veterinary clinic sheriff say the Saint John’s County Sheriff Office posted some photos. Showing man who walked up to the door of the anesthesia cat clinic the man was seen touching and inspecting a diagnostics blood box before leaving the area, the sheriffs say about twenty minutes later, a truck seen in the parking area and a man wearing the same clothing walked up to the clinic and took the box. The box contains four vials of cat blood. The vehicle then left the area. Investigators say that the box containing the blood vials amounted to a six hundred dollar loss for the clinic. Which makes me wonder why is cat blood worth so much I had no idea six hundred dollars for four vials of cat blood. I’ll go right now and get some cats off craigslist and. Take some of their blood and. Buy some new microphones I’m kidding no, I wouldn’t do that. Of course, I wouldn’t I would invest in Tesla. I know what to do with cat blood money. I just can’t believe cat. Vials of blood worth more than the actual cats you get caffeine like what? One hundred bucks but the vial of cat blood is like one, hundred, fifty, four vials at six hundred right I’m doing the math one hundred and fifty bucks a cat blood vial. That seems like it’s worth more than human blood. I don’t understand it at all and why would this Guy Steele cat. Blood. Well he either knows it’s worth a lot on the market or he’s got like some kind of vampire cat at home that feeds off of the blood of other cats. But the cat is a house cat so it doesn’t really want to go out and and get the blood from other cats really can. It’s just stays at home mostly. So the owner to keep the cat alive has to go out every night and go get. Vials of cat blood or. Bring back dead cats for his vampire cat. To Drain inside the apartment. That is a stretch of of a story, but I’m just trying to make sense of it. All guys. Do. You think you could do a better job of piecing all of this together I’d like to see you try. You think you can find the inner motivations of a twisted Florida degenerate. Go ahead. Try It.
Florida parents are getting high and exposing themselves during their children’s virtual home classes.
It’s a lesson in reading writing and reefer Florida MOMS and DADS have been spotted smoking weed drinking and walking around naked in the background of their kids. Online classes. Frustrated teachers said at a recent school board meeting. One offended teacher named Edith said parents please make sure that you have on proper clothing when you’re walking behind your child’s computer because we’ve seen them in their draws their bras and everything else. It’s just shocking Oh poor edith was shocked I don’t blame her she’s got to. Sit. Through Naked Weed smoking fornicated Florida parents who are out of work and they’re in the background of their kids classes I’m surprised they’re not shooting off guns and making meth back there. The police should actually monitor these these computer screens. I’m sure they can see all sorts of laws being broken in the background. It is Florida after all. Poor Edith and some other shocked educators have seen just about everything from parents in the background of their child’s virtual classes including smoking giant joints and mothers with exposed Ankle Monitor’s.
There’s a lot of that going on but that’s good that they’re home though with their ankle monitor, that’s where they should be. Now when the Florida parents with ankle monitors. Children become adults that have ankle monitors as well. Is that genetics or environment guys can we can figure this out? What how do you pass on ankle monitors do? Is there a gene, an ankle monitor gene that’s being passed on in Florida I think so. Here’s another quote from Edith who’s just not having a great day at all. Parents when you’re helping your children at their computer, please do not appear with big joints in your hands. These joints era’s biggest cigars I mean, we’ve seen it all its biggest cigars I can’t believe it. Poor eat it doesn’t doesn’t know what people are smoking these days I heard they’re called blunts. Huge they’re not very bluntly at all. Now, some parents at this meeting burst into laughter but the teachers called the risque classroom cameos just one example of how chaotic the pandemic online teaching teaching sessions can be these days. I had a father no-shirt drinking a beer at eleven forty five in the morning. I did have also apparent who sat on the couch and we could see an ankle monitor on her leg right there. Other teachers say they feared that students would be exposed to a hard to process level of street smarts by glimpsing into the hard partying homes. Students do see other things that they’ve probably never seen before. So I know that is a real challenge. A spokesperson for the school district reminded the parents that all classes are recorded. So. Just. So you know your. Your weed smoking days are over. I mean at this point you’re in Florida, right? So you just gotTa. Be grateful that the parents have a fast enough Internet connection with the child can actually learn you know just be just be glad they have a computer in the house and they’ve paid the electricity at this point you know what I mean. You’re going to have to let the joints in the occasional barebreast, an ankle bracelet just slide I think for now. It’s Florida.
CracksonVille -pardon me- Jacksonville Florida Strip clubs fight to lower the dancer age to eighteen.
Come Florida’s strip club owners are lobbying to lower the age limit for strippers from twenty one to eighteen years old calling the current age requirement unconstitutional. In the United States who want laws to be changed and they want certain rights and they call these things unconstitutional when on the surface of things they don’t look like they have anything to do with the Constitution for instance, the age of stripper how does that have anything to do with the constitution? It seems to me the right to be a stripper. Is Probably your constitutional right after all you know it’s the pursuit of happiness. Of course, we know how happy strippers. But the age of a stripper I I’d like to see the in the constitution where it it Delia Nate’s an age of a stripper or dancer please please Jacksonville Strip club owners. a lawyer representing some clubs thirteen of them. And the lawyers also representing four dancers. Argued before a federal judge that dancing is a form of expression protected under the? First Amendment. This is a ban on free speech said attorney Gary and injure the alright Gary Easy now. I’m sure our founding fathers when they were drafting of the bill of rights. Were thinking that you one day. There’s going to be some strippers in Jacksonville that are gonNA really. Really use this document. To. Craft A. Respectable living. I couldn’t get that out. Yes. Dancing is a form of expression. At the Strip club I don’t think so. Maybe in a theater When dancing his art that’s when it’s a form of expression. The rest of the time it’s just dancing. It’s like no one you know. And in the case, a strip clubs, it’s just it’s just work. Really this is work. Not, to say that I’m completely against you allowing eighteen year olds to be strippers, I want to hear your argument I. Let’s see what it says. The city law currently bans dancers under the age of twenty one and was passed in an effort to reduce sex trafficking. Okay. Well, that’s important. I think that’s very important. So I think we should keep it at twenty one given that also these these are bars we’re talking about right I mean liquors being served. So therefore, you really can’t be to eighteen and be working in these places. Correct. City Attorney’s claim that younger people are more susceptible to the coercion that’s often part of trafficking.
Argue that twenty-one is a safer age perhaps perhaps I don’t know I mean we’d have to see some data on that but I think twenty one is also young and very susceptible as well. I mean twenty one is a young person in my opinion. What is the age to be a bartender I’d like to know I mean because that should be the same age as the stripper. In my opinion, you can have like the age limit twenty one to be a bartender but then you can be a stripper at eighteen in my opinion. I don’t know what do you guys call the show six, four, six, four, five, zero, twenty, twelve.
A man shot his doctor after ejaculated during a prostate exam.
Yes. That’s the actual title of the story. A fifty, six year old man from Florida shot his doctor twice in the chest close range for giving him an orgasm during a prostate exam. I mean I I don’t know why I mean last I checked orgasm felt amazing. I normally wouldn’t shoot somebody after they gave me one but let’s get into the story maybe. Maybe, they have a history, my low Hansen fled the state of Florida on the day of the incident. Luckily, the doctor he shot survived the wounds and he has fully recovered. Milo who was a car salesman in Jacksonville had disappeared without a trace He’s currently a fugitive. Some people think he may have even left the US after shooting the doctor. The doctor he shot says he had been doing prostate exams for over thirty years and. Men ejaculate all the time during the prostate exam. It has nothing to do with sexuality. He says, he says, my patient Milo needs help. The doctor goes on to give details about the prostate. It is like a male g spot and it carries semen. It is very sensitive. So when it is touched a massage, you you get an orgasm with almost no. The prostate is only accessible through the anus and that’s not very comfortable for most men. I understand that Milo was shocked by what happened to him an orgasm meant something sexual had taken place between us and he became very aggressive i. get it ordering me to apologize and. I did not even know what that means, but he made me say, no home. No Homo. So. I. I was trying my best to calm him down and let them know that this was a normal thing that had just happened. But he you know before I knew it. He pulled out a gun and fired two shots at me and then left was the last time I’ve seen him in Jacksonville? That’s a quote from the doctor and it’s just it’s just a fabulous quote the doctor. So like chilling cool about it. Yeah I mean. I. Know You shot me and then he took off I tried to tell them hey, you know what man it’s okay. It’s not. It’s fine. You don’t have to shoot me but okay. Apparently Milos twenty, nine year old girlfriend claims that Milo called her and said Asta La Vista and she never heard from him again. Who is this guy? The girlfriend is quoted as saying I know that Milo hated homosexuals. I know that that is true but but the shooting I never thought he’d take it that far. Milos assistant. A young man in his mid twenties said that Milo was extremely homophobic and he always said if a homosexual man touched or made a move on him, they wouldn’t see the sunset. He’s quoted as saying. He forces people to say no homo when they make contact with them. Even if you just accidentally touched his hand while you handed him something, it’s really ridiculous. Well you know there’s a lot of people like Milo kicking around and you know it’s a damn shame. especially that a doctor got shot, I’m so pleased that he lived. this doctors chill as hell. But, it’s also good to know that You know I, it’s very common for a male to have an orgasm during this procedure I’ve never had a prostate exam I. Don’t know when do you get that in your fifties or something I haven’t had one so I expect to. Expected to feel good I guess. This article has taught me. No need for a gun. Now I think I’ll be thanking the doctor. Well, thank you very much, and here’s here’s some flowers. I’ll be sending you a bag. Chocolates don’t worry. And what are you doing this weekend?
